【托福作文批改】20分:词汇和句式单一,须多积累(2)

TPO 23 Independent   writing task

Do you agree or disagree   with the following statement? [本文来自:www.11jj.com]

In   today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes   than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct.

[原文来自:www.11jj.com]

Use specific reasons and   examples to support your answer.

 

作文内容:

When one is starting out in   business, one have a choice of whether to work rapidly in spite of making   mistakes, or sacrifice the speed to ensure the quality. I convince[A1]  that the latter one is always the widest[A2]  decision.过于简洁,尽量三到四句以上。

第一段作为开头段,还是需要铺垫一下或者对于写作题目进行展开一下或者进行自我让步。比如自我让步With modern technologicaldevelopment,people tend tobe more concerned   with efficiency. Consequently, doing things slowly   and making almost everything correctly seems to be out of date.The   idea of working rapidly in spite of making mistakes is seemingly dominant in   oursociety.最后转折到自己的观点,However I contend thatscarificing   the speed to ensure the quality is always much wiser for the following   reasons.

 

Above most things, people   who always makes[A3]  mistakes will be defined as the black sheep no matter   how much work he   had[A4]  done. Even a small mistake is potentially   catastrophic. Take the shuttle Challenger as an example, this great space   shuttle with seven brave astronauts on it exploded when it was in the process   of launching. All the tragedy was caused by a small/minor   mistake in the construction of the space shuttle. Now we can see what [A5] mistake means to people and the society.

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